Free association writing in response to image 1:
“F**k this. I don’t want it anymore. NO. NO. NO.
I am Leader Jennifer.
I am me.
I am not these feelings, this trauma sh*t.
I’m so tired.
I am *tired*.
I want out.
Out of it.
Out of the drama.
I just want to be happy and eternally tapped into Leader Jennifer – into the *knowing*, the deep knowing that it’s all going to be okay.
Why don’t I feel like I have that power now?
Because you won’t let it. You won’t see. You don’t want it, you want to f**k with it and not play for real. You want out of the new Leader Jennifer.
Your actions show that.
How do I choose it, for real? because it feels like I’m doing all I can?
I walk into the doors of my heart and I shout NO, I won’t let you overtake me, Pain, Heartache, Depression. I do the hard work every day to shut it the f**k down.
But that answer doesn’t help. It still makes me feel sh*tty and like I’m failing, all the time, all the ways?
But you choose to feel like you’re failing. You choose to look at this picture and you need to turn the page and make a new one – constantly, every day. More than once per day. Make a new picture until the old one stops feeling real…“
Free association writing in response to image 2:
“I AM HERE NOW. THANKS FOR FOLLOWING.
Why is she pink?
Why not. She is her and everything she’s meant to be. Why the f**k not be pink, orange, black, bold and soft, quiet and loud. All of it.
For me by me.
In my opinion.
No one gets to say otherwise.
Here I go.
Let’s keep going…
to the next sketchbook…
These are excerpts from my own free association writing, related to the drawings pictured.
I teach my art therapy and coaching clients this artmaking and writing technique that I call The Redefined Process. It’s what helped me reconnect with and redefine my identity after narcissistic abuse, and it’s still so central in my healing.
Want to try it for yourself?
👉Link below to learn more about my work with clients