“…I am me and that’s ALL I will ever be. And all I need. ME- she’s protected, she’s cared for, she’s whole.”
It all comes back to identity. Every single time.
I’ve found that the root cause of our feeling of stuck-ness in life, lack of confidence, self doubt, you name it… those lingering symptoms from the trauma of narcissistic abuse…they hang around because we’ve lost our connection to our identity.
We don’t know who we are anymore. Our sense of self was so enmeshed with the abuser that we didn’t know where they ended and we began. Breaking out of that pattern and boldly stepping into the uncharted waters of Self…the new and unexplored You…is very hard, and very scary at times.
In this episode of Art That Overcomes, we’ll be diving into some ways of reconnecting with and redefining identity. We are reminding ourselves: I am whole. Your true sense of self isn’t lost somewhere outside of you. It’s all there, within you now. It’s time to tap into it.
Scroll down to view the art images, related free association writing, and Message From Your Future Self that I discuss in Episode 6: I am Whole.
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>Missed last week’s podcast email? CLICK HERE to check out the art and message from your future self featured in Episode 5: How to do this art process.
Art That Overcomes, Episode 6: I am Whole.
“…Am I the same girl I was then?
Yes, all the feelings and swirlings, *but* now lived out, now expressed, now understanding that they can stretch so much farther and that is so unknown and scary and WTF is happening?
My body doesn’t know what to do. My very nervous system wants to shut down. This feels so unsafe and unknown – my body is firing the battle cry, the warning – this is really fight/flight now. But actually I’m fawning, stopping, immobilized.
The paths in the drawing, the black one, where does it lead?
To the orange stickers (tape).
Do they stop there or continue?
They will go down the table and out through the door and spread like a web, but it feels bad…
Is the black bad? What is it?
…it’s good to recognize it before it overtakes again. It’s been running the show, Jennifer. It’s reaching its peak and then it will fade and won’t be so intense, brilliant and strong. But right now it’s trying to rear its ugly head and find a way out and that way is through YOU. It has to come out and is fighting through your pores and your mask and needs liberation…
It will never come to the forefront of the show because I’m not going to let it (we will not let it) but you have to be willing to *face* it, not only acknowledging…
How does the blue survive?
By turning to herself, asking herself what is real and by fighting for that, all the time, every day, every month of every minute of the year and forever. Because I am me and that’s ALL I will ever be. And all I need. ME- she’s protected, she’s cared for, she’s whole.”
A Message From Your Future Self
“I am whole. I am full. I am like a circle that is open and flowing and full to the brim…with ME. I am not masking my true self…but always open. Always asking. Always comforting. Always ready to love.
I am not perfect. I spill out…sometimes.
But I trust.
I trust my shape. I trust my colors. I trust my process.
I trust Me.
I trust my ability to return back to myself when things start to shift.
I know you don’t always feel this grounded…this safe, within yourself.
Today I am here to remind you that this hard work of getting up, trying again, trusting again, living again…this work of turning back toward You…
That is what’s building our feeling of Wholeness.
Our sense of Safety.
Our feelings of Flow and Ease.
You ARE already Whole. You ARE already complete. You ARE your True Self.
The feelings, though…that’s the tricky part. You don’t always feel your wholeness. You waver in your awareness of these truths.
But they are there, within you.
I ask you to take one step toward me now…toward the knowing that what you seek is already within you.
Take a deep belly breath.
With hand on your heart, say with me: “I am Whole.”
-Your Future Self”
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