Tag: anxiety

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21. Goodbye, Fear…the New Me is Here! + ANNOUNCEMENT

Welcome back, Overcomer! I hope this special podcast series has helped you navigate the holiday season with increased focus, calm, and vision for the future.

And I realize that this next season will not be without its own challenges. We all need community to support us…and, most importantly…it has to be the *right* community….other women who really get it. That’s why I’ve made some very intentional changes to my Redefined coaching app to help you continue into this new year without losing sight of that Future You that you’ve been envisioning. 

Before I let you in on all those details, I want to acknowledge that moving forward into new phases of healing is often really filled with fear. And we can choose to let that fear hold us back, or we can choose to let it catapult us forward. 

Today’s message from your future self is all about tackling our fear of the unknown territory that lies ahead on this healing journey from narcissistic abuse.

Tune in to today’s episode of the Art That Overcomes podcast to hear this message.

Episode 21:  Goodbye, Fear…the New Me is Here! + ANNOUNCEMENT

Choose how you want to listen…
> Apple Podcasts
> Spotify
> On the web

In each of these special holiday episodes, you’ll hear a Message From Your Future Self, along with a suggested art exercise to encourage further reflection.

Like what you hear? Give Art That Overcomes a 5 star rating and review so that other Overcomers can find it too (all those listens and reviews bump it up in the algorithm).

ANNOUNCEMENT – Here’s what’s NEW at Redefined!

I’ve unlocked a brand new feature for ALL app users, whether you’re a paying, monthly Redefined Member, or you’re taking advantage of the FREE mini-courses I have available…

There is now a separate Community chat channel, just for you! I had previously reserved the community chat feature for members only, but now I’ve created a second community for those of you who haven’t opted into paid membership yet.

If you’re already a member, I’ve made some changes to your private Community channel as well, so you can go ahead and check that out too! 

To access Redefined, search for ‘Redefined – by Jennifer Kramer’ in your app store, or go here for the website version: https://redefined-by-jenniferkramer.passion.io/


Ready to go deeper?

CLICK HERE to learn about the monthly Redefined Membership, which includes my 10-week Challenge, The Redefined Process.


LIMITED TIME OFFER – Get a FREE Redefined t-shirt (see photo above) when you join the monthly membership, even if just for one month. It’s my gift to you! An empowering reminder of who you really are, Overcomer!

I’ll see you over in the community chat!

❤️Jennifer

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7. What’s really keeping you stuck.

“I long to let it go and I don’t know how.”

Have you ever felt this way, Overcomer? Like there’s something you long to move past, get over, or let go of….and you just can’t seem to do it. It doesn’t make sense. It’s confusing. It feels like you’re working against yourself, even though you don’t want to be.

Not only have I been there in the past, but I honestly think it’s an ongoing part of the human condition. It’s something we have to constantly be aware of and address.

The good news….

I believe it does get easier once we are aware of this push-pull dynamic within ourselves, and once we’ve gotten some practice addressing it.

But you’ve gotta be willing to get honest with yourself.

If you’re fed up with feeling stuck, then today’s episode of Art That Overcomes is for you.

Scroll down to view the art image, related free association writing, and Message From Your Future Self that I discuss in Episode 7: What’s really keeping you stuck.

Listen and subscribe to Art That Overcomes on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, right now! If you like it, give it a 5 star rating and review so that other Overcomers can find it too (all those listens and reviews bump it up in the algorithm).

>Missed last week’s podcast email? CLICK HERE to check out the art and message from your future self featured in Episode 6: I am Whole.

Art That Overcomes Podcast, Episode 7: What’s really keeping you stuck.

“It’s bulging out, pushing in. And I’m pushing back, keeping all of its calmness and blessings at bay. That anxiety and pain and uncertainty and dread and depression and fatigue and loneliness and not enough-ness and this-will-always-be-hard and I cannot be loved…⁠
⁠
All of that is stored up in my body, in my chest and in my gut and it’s so familiar that I coddle it and take such good care of it like a baby in my arms, like something sweet and powerful and good that I must protect, at all costs, like I would be lost without it. I HOLD it, so TIGHT…⁠
⁠
I long to let it go and I don’t know how. ⁠
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I’ve been treating myself like ‘I’ve grown and learned and changed and now I’ll stay comfy for a while.’ But [God], you want me to move. You see me moving and am moving me. You have the power but you call me to act, to reach out to you. ⁠
⁠
What does this feel like? The reaching out?⁠
⁠
It’s starting to feel like home. I can see it from here. It can be my new familiar safe place. ⁠
⁠
Can I let my guard down? Should I?⁠
⁠
With you [God] I can. It’s you and me, but that does not have to exclude another. As I open myself up to you, lay down fear, put away what is familiar, step away from it, and fasten, fix, focus my eyes and actions and affections and satisfaction and contentment and fulfillment and joy on you, then I can move towards others…”⁠

A Message From Your Future Self

“We hold so many things back, don’t we?

Sometimes this makes sense, for sure. We’ve been hurt, abused, and betrayed. Not every person, and not every circumstance deserves our full self. Not everyone is worthy of the time, energy, and trust that it takes to present ourselves fully, honest and uncensored.

But what about the things you hold back from me….from yourself?

Do you realize that the fullest, most beautiful and vulnerable parts of You are safe here? Do you understand that I’m on the other side of this and I see now…clearly?

I see you…in full.

And I know, now…those parts you hold back…those feelings that are hardest to face…those words you hesitate to say…and the thoughts you won’t release…that’s all that holds you here.

You feel stuck in a loop of thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that weigh you down.

But it’s actually the release that you fear most.

Deep down, I remember how we feared letting go……………

How the unknown felt so scary… But now I see. I SEE.

I see how once you were willing to take one little step after another…once you were willing to release…just a bit…to pry even one finger off the familiar feelings you clench so tightly…

…once you started… You couldn’t be stopped.

Once You decided to be honest with yourself, you soared.

-Your Future Self”

We are a community of Overcomers!

Looking to connect with other women who get it? Click here to join my FREE Facebook Group, Women Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. It’s a private community designed just for you.

Ready to go deeper?

CLICK HERE to learn about the monthly Redefined Membership, which includes my 10-week Challenge, The Redefined Process.

❤️Jennifer

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Self Sabotage or Victim Blaming?

Art That Overcomes Podcast, Episode 2

“But you choose to feel like you’re failing. You choose to look at this picture and you need to turn the page and make a new one – constantly, every day. More than once per day. Make a new picture until the old one stops feeling real…”⁠

>How does that sit with you? How would you feel if someone said that to you?

Some of us would feel insulted, blamed, or even shamed. Some of us would feel challenged, in a good way. Or, it might just depend on the day!

>What if it was you (an inner part of your subconscious brain) who spoke these words to you? Would you listen and make a move, or choose to stay planted in place?

In this week’s episode of Art That Overcomes, I address just that. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether our inner voice is speaking hurtful, victim blaming words leftover from the narcissist, or actually making us aware of self-sabotaging thoughts that we have the power to change.

Scroll down to view the art images, related free association writing, and Message From Your Future Self that I discuss in Episode 2: Self Sabotage or Victim Blaming?.

Listen and subscribe to Art That Overcomes on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, right now! If you like it, give it a 5 star rating and review so that other Overcomers can find it too (all those listens and reviews bump it up in the algorithm).

>Missed last week’s podcast email? CLICK HERE to check out the art and writing featured in Episode 1: When things feel heavy…

Art Image Number 1

“F**k this. I don’t want it anymore. NO. NO. NO.⁠
⁠
I am Leader Jennifer.⁠
I am me.⁠
I am not these feelings, this trauma shit. ⁠
⁠
I’m so tired. ⁠
I am *tired*. ⁠
⁠
I want out. ⁠
Out of it. ⁠
Out of the drama. ⁠
⁠
I just want to be happy and eternally tapped into Leader Jennifer – into the *knowing*, the deep knowing that it’s all going to be okay. ⁠
⁠
Why don’t I feel like I have that power now? ⁠
⁠
Because you won’t let it. You won’t see. You don’t want it, you want to f**k with it and not play for real. You want out of the new Leader Jennifer. ⁠
⁠
Your actions show that. ⁠
⁠
How do I choose it, for real? because it feels like I’m doing all I can?⁠
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I walk into the doors of my heart and I shout NO, I won’t let you overtake me, Pain, Heartache, Depression. I do the hard work every day to shut it the f**k down. ⁠
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But that answer doesn’t help. It still makes me feel shitty and like I’m failing, all the time, all the ways? ⁠
⁠
But you choose to feel like you’re failing. You choose to look at this picture and you need to turn the page and make a new one – constantly, every day. More than once per day. Make a new picture until the old one stops feeling real…”⁠

Art Image Number 2

“I AM HERE NOW. THANKS FOR FOLLOWING. ⁠
⁠
Why is she pink?⁠
⁠
Why not. She is her and everything she’s meant to be. Why the f**k not be pink, orange, black, bold and soft, quiet and loud. All of it. ⁠
⁠
For me by me. ⁠
In my opinion. ⁠
No one gets to say otherwise. ⁠
Here I go. ⁠
I’m blooming. ⁠
Watch me. ⁠
⁠
Let’s go. ⁠
Let’s keep going…⁠
to the next sketchbook… ⁠
⁠
NEW.”⁠

A Message From Your Future Self

“What if???

What if…life didn’t feel so damn hard every single day?
What if there was some kind of breakthrough that could happen?

What if you could envision your future goals and dreams clearly this time, and actually believe you’ll get there?

Remember, I’m the Future You, the one who’s made it there to that Future Place that seems so foggy right now, from where you stand.

Take a few deep breaths with me, now, as I invite you to imagine this with me for a moment…

Breathe in…and out…
Take another big breath in…and out…
One more time, at your own pace….

Close your eyes with me and imagine:

You wake up tomorrow morning, and everything has changed (for the better). The feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, guilt, self-doubt…that often debilitating sadness that you can’t quite explain…that weight in your shoulders, or tightness in your gut…

Those feelings just. aren’t. there.

As you continue to breathe….Imagine a feeling of lightness, a feeling of ease…a powerful energy coursing through your body, now that the weight has lifted and the pain has subsided. You’re not sinking…You are RISING.  

What do you see? What do you envision right in front of you, as you’re feeling this relief, this positive energy in your body, and in your emotions.

What’s there in front of you?

And now….What will you do? What’s your first move? The first action you feel compelled to take?

There’s no wrong answer here, and You are completely in control. The best advice I can give you, from this Future Place where I stand, is to trust YOU….your voice…your intuition…and simply MOVE. Take one action. Do something. And do something that feels right for YOU.

Again, imagine that action…that step…that move.

And as you open your eyes, I invite you to write it down. Remember it. And then….go do it.

-Your Future Self”

Join me in the Redefined Membership!

I’m an artist, licensed art therapist, and online coach who helps women like you overcome the lasting effects of narcissistic abuse so you can get unstuck, redefine your identity, and finally build the confidence to make your daydreams a reality. I’ll teach you the same art techniques that have been life-changing in my own recovery.

It’s all about redefining YOU.

CLICK HERE to learn about the monthly Redefined Membership, which includes my 10-week Challenge, The Redefined Process.

❤️Jennifer

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When your body won’t let go of the stress.

Our emotions are deeply held and felt in our physical bodies. We cannot escape it. Fear, anxiety, stress, and trauma all manifest in chronic fatigue, pain, stiff muscles, headaches, sleeplessness, and more. Treatment modalities that engage our body as well as our subconscious mind are most effective. Through both the sensory qualities and narrative aspects of the art therapy process, we can begin to speak to this pain and learn to gradually release and find rest. And we can even learn to appreciate our pain for the wisdom it has to reveal.

The following is an excerpt from my witness writing after completing the first stage of this painting (above, left). The completed painting (right) shows my continued elaboration on the face image that had appeared, as I continued reflecting on my painful shoulders and their “wise eyes”.

“I painted the pain in my shoulders, in my neck. First blue, then white. But these colors didn’t speak to the pain. It needed red. The red is a flame of fire in my neck and coming out of my body onto the page. It is inside of me. A part of me, always. It loves me and I hate it. I want it gone. But it needs me, more than I think I need it.

It grows into wisdom, though. Into knowing. Knowing how to get out, how to be free and me and given the chance it will show all of you. Show you what I’m made of. A temper outburst tantrum in the gulf, in the trees inside of me. The trees of knowing. Of shame. Of unashamed. I am me in the middle of this all.

The knots in my shoulders became anchors for my eyes. The truth and wisdom that I need to grow, to find meaning and freedom from this — all this in my body — all the pain and uncertainty and disdain for my own body. The hatred for it all. The fatigue and pain. I want to float above it, to be like the tree and not like me; the me that I know underneath. I want to be the me that I know I can be.”

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I am commanding calm.

“I am commanding calm.” 4’x4′, mixed media on canvas

This lady has been through so many transformations — about two-and-a-half years in the making. As I journeyed, so did she. As I felt free and powerful, she expressed it with her wings and color. As I felt overwhelmed, vulnerable, and stripped away, so did she. The finished product is a figure who, while still embodying all those feelings, is in control. In fact, it’s almost as if the bolder the waves and firey sky behind her, the more powerful she becomes.

#commandingcalm #brave #arttherapy #selfcare #allthefeelings #anxiety #depression #processpainting #trusttheprocess #thestudioprocess #domesticviolenceawareness